Hey Sassy Gals!
Not sure if it is the beginning of the Ice Age, or just Mercury Retrograde wreaking havoc on the weather! Clearly we are prone to be buried in a foot of snow. It is flurrying its cold-hearted menace outside as we speak! (Sigh.) Yes, we live in New England, so we should have made peace with Mother Nature’s tentativeness. However, I will not be stigmatized with the Northeast. I hate the snow! After the Holidays, its only redeemable quality is an excuse to buy cute snow boots!
Unfortunately, Sassy Gals, it is inevitable that we will all be entombed in a blizzard next week. It’s like a bad break up! We just want it to end, stop coming back!
So for those who equally share a disdain for the inclement weather, I will share my snowed in survival guide! It is a list of activities my friends and I made (and completed) for last week ‘s storm so we wouldn’t drive each other crazy!
Warning: They do get pretty ridiculous. Enjoy!
1. Bake everything in the house
Snow days really exist for us closeted gluttons. Use it to evade the treadmill (the cold weather could give you a cramp!) and binge bake the day away with some friends! Of course you can bake healthy, or you could always grab a couple spoons and demolish the tub of cookie dough….
2. D.I.Y. Projects/ Make Art
Repress your inner hipster/artist no more! If you got that post modern touch, and are feeling a tad pretentious, then a snow day is perfect for you! You can look up D.I.Y. projects on Pinterest! Make some fancy paper cranes, or if you are feeling over ambitious build a fancy shelf! Take some Instagram pictures! Maybe of your cat and call it Avant-garde? You could always just paint something too! Either way, make it original, use a filter, and remember your art matters!
3. Build an indoor fort
Like a little adventure? Make your friends build a luxurious fort of blankets for you! Request nothing but the finest silk in the house! Since you are the snow queen, you simply cannot partake in such a tedious task! Make sure your peasants, eh-hem, friends wave you down with giant ostrich feathers, and feed you grapes right off the vine.
4. Host a pageant
If you guys are a good-looking bunch and have a tiara on hand, then I recommend duking it out to really see who is the fairest of them all! Make it interesting in any way possible; perhaps an aptitude test? Remember the winner must be pretty, popular, and smart!
5. Play Board Games
Do you like forming alliances, being deceitful, and questioning friendships? Then you should be playing board games with your friends! If you really love the drama and want to stir the pot, I recommend playing the board game Survivor, based off the television show. Outwit, outplay, and outlast your buddies! If someone cries in the end, you are the sole survivor!
6. Air Grievances/ Brood on life
If you feel like your group needs to recuperate after your intense board gaming, form an honesty circle and air out all of that negative energy! To appease the self-proclaimed philosophers of the group, perhaps turn the conversation to existentialism or space-time. If you truly want to ponder about your existence, go on Netflix and binge watch Neil Degrasse Tyson’s The Cosmos. All I can say is your mind will be blown.
7. Make a music video to a Taylor Swift song
You absolutely do not need to be a Taylor Swift fan to ‘shake it off shake it off!’ Why I pick her music is because you are going to need a substantial pick-me-up after all of that brooding (girl has got some catchy tunes!). Make a ridiculous dance number, and do not hide your inner diva! Then upload the video onto YouTube and become famous! You’re welcome.
8. Slay the Patriarchy
Um, Sassy Gals! That is something you should be doing everyday, regardless of the snow! Throw the stones of equality at the glass ceiling! Make a difference! Perhaps reconsider the beauty pageant? It’s a scholarship program! (Thank you Miss Congeniality!)
9. Commit a heinous fashion crime
You have been found guilty of dressing poorly!
10. Assign your friends as characters from your favorite sitcom
Feeling a little bitter about not getting into an acting school? Well stick it to NYU and Julliard for neglecting to see your tremendous talent and put those acting skills elsewhere! Have you and your friends hold auditions and pray to God you won’t be type-casted! Keep invested in your character all day, and then hold an award ceremony!